C-Sections

My cousin Erin is pregnant with twins - Emory and Holden - they (the dr.'s)have decided that she should have a C-section Wednesday at 1pm. All is fine and there is nothing to worry about but it got me thinking - as nervous as I am about the uncertain-ness of labor (length and pain) I think that knowing that on a certain day and at a certain time that I was going to have a baby would be much more stressful. Sleep would go out the door - which it already has most nights - but if I was told that at 10am tomorrow that I would walk in to a hospital and have a baby I would freak. Some people I know like the planning aspect of it all - it is nice and neat and they don't have to worry about the unknown (they would also be absolutelt ready which is a plus) but I think that that knowing that total certainest is a bit unnerving. This whole pregnancy thing is still so strange - I am growing a baby inside of me - a person - I feel her kick and move and roll over - she'll sometimes respond to my touch - she is a person - I know physically how it all happens but scientifically it is a miracle to me.

31 weeks done

I always get so confused - have I been pregnant for 31 weeks or amd I starting my 31st week - I believe that I have been pregnant for 31 weeks and am officially starting my 32nd week today and how scary is it that you are only pregnant for 40 weeks - I am almost done - I know that I have lagged on the pictures and I need to get on that but for some reason not much gets done anymore. I am tired and working and my ankles have started swelling and we have baby class every week and well coming home and plopping on the couch is a nice thing to do some days.
My work threw me a baby shower on Wednesday and it was GREAT - I had been dreading it as I don't particularly like being the center of attention but since everything was for Bella it made it all that much easier - Bella made out! and once I get the camera settings corrected on my computer I will post some pictures. The people at my work were so kind it was overwhelming - again I feel so blessed to have such nice people in my life.
Happy Friday peeps enjoy the rain....

27 weeks

I know that it has been a while - life has been a bit crazy but all seems to be calming down now that report cards are done. Also those of you who have asked for pictures I am having a bit of trouble downloading - so I will do that soon as well - as soon as I ask Bill what to do.
You know it is so odd - when you talk to most mothers they will tell you all about their labor (good or bad) and all of the "war wounds" that accompanied their labor (usually very scary). I know that labor must be uncomfortable ... well simply that it is called labor and not something more pleasant but when most women start in on their stories - and I know that it was a great accomplishment in their lives ... well it gets me very nervous about what I might go through in the next 13 weeks.
You don't often hear all of the fears they had before the labor began. What is it going to feel like for me? How long will it last for me? Is the baby going to be born with 10 fingers and 10 toes and all working parts? I know the ultra sound showed 2 legs and 2 arms - but what about the 8 limbed girl in India - I bet her parents were a bit shocked. Then you look around at other kids - and I see a lot daily - and you wonder will my child have autism? aspbergers (sp?)? or any other learning disability? I know people say don't think about it - and I am not worrying about it I am just wondering about it. What kind of parents will Mike and I be? I think I will be a good mom but I haven't done it yet so I have no idea what kind of mom I will be. Plus she is not the most active baby - I get a few good swift kicks but not constant movement - is this okay? Does this mean that she will be a mellow child? Also how can I ensure that I raise a kind, compassionate, good natured and hard working child? When do I learn how to do that? Well I will work on that continuously... the truth is I don't even know about feeding schedules and sleeping schedules and I just read an article that said that as a new mom every time the baby latches on to feed it hurts so much you cry.... what have I gotten myself in to? Don't get me wrong I am so happy to be pregnant and so happy that this pregnancy has been so easy I am just wondering how my life is going to change in 13 weeks...

Fires

What a crazy week - the fires have again paralized our city and the whole city smells of smoke. The sky is a dull gray color but the amount of deaths were low and it seems that the fires are moving away from SD - well there is not much more to burn. The sad part is they are moving North and East - hopefully to less populated areas. I have friends and family who were evacuated and friend's family who have lost homes - and it is all just so sad. The people who I feel the most for are the people who were evacuated, lost homes and /or family in the Cedar fire 4 years ago - how ironic that this fire happened 4 years to the week that the last fire happened. People are still mourning their loses and now they are also reliving the tragedy. It is too much for people to have to go through more then once in a lifetime.

me

this pregnancy has been somewhat of a breeze... well compared to the stories I hear from others and the tales I read about... however these past few weeks have been a hormonal hurricane. I have been bitchy witchy or I break down in tears randomly without provocation. i guess the fact that I am continually fighting a cold and a cough doesn't help in the least.
On a happier note after moping that Bella wasn't moving enough I have been feeling her quite a lot these past few days and finally Mike was able to feel her kick. This whole pregnancy has been all me - i have felt the changes I have felt her growing and now it is becoming more real for Mike - she'll be here in 15 weeks and well I can't quite believe it although I am not in the least bit worried - the person who worries about everything is not worried about the baby... i am not sure how daycare and diapers will be paid for but I am not worried. It is a nice change.

Let the shopping begin

I know that I had been dead set on a pink and brown nursery BUT.... all that changed when I went to Pottery Barn Kids yesterday. I walked in and saw the cutest bedding on sale. And it is so far away from the pink and brown that I had originally planned for - white and green and yellow with green embroidered daisies. I then went to Marshalls and bought matching baskets for under the bed to store toys and diapers etc....

kicking?

Well last night as I was just getting comfortable in bed I think that I felt Bella's first official kicks. I have been feeling quite a bit of movement but nothing that made me go "What the hell was that?" until last night. Three times about an inch below my belly button I felt sharp "pains" but not really pains --it was just the oddest feeling ever... I am hoping to feel them again soon so I can ease my wondering mind and go "Oh yeah no problem it is just my future soccer star in there saying hello...."

it's getting closer

Help my wedding rings don't fit anymore (my friend Kate pointed out that her' weren't fitting like they used to and I realize mind don't either)... well they fit but I have to pry them off of my fingers... I am continuing to grow and grow but have a Don't ask Don't tell relationship with the scale and I am actually okay with this deal... I had a dr's appointment this afternoon and he assured me that all is well with Bella - the ultrasound last week was perfect and with the negative results of the AFP test her chances of being downs is 1 in 12,000 and well since I am a bit of a gambler... those are odds that I will take. Okay so here I am at 21 weeks and 1 day and well then I went to The Gap and well... I had to buy Bella a dress and well then they had this cute bathing suit on clearance and well who could resist????? Not me .....

Isabella at 21 weeks

Here she is - you can see her little thumb going into her mouth - it was amazing!!!!

17 weeks and 1 day

Okay here I am the bump is definitely there and the coolest part is in the past week or so I have really felt the baby moving. It is hard to describe the feeling but it really is amazing. I also rented a Doppler - which is a device that allows me to listen to the baby's heartbeat - it sounds like a train moving through the wind - very cool. We still don't know if it'll be a boy or a girl we have 3 more weeks until that appointment - we are narrowing down our names though - Isabella for a girl and maybe William Michael for a boy and we will call him Will. The girls name has been decided on for ages the boys name is a bit harder to agree on.

Empire State Building?

Nicole and I were so excited to finally be landing in New York. We had had been anticipating our trip for weeks and although it was going to be a working vacation we were hoping to see some tourist attractions. Once we arrived at our hotel room we looked out the window and saw a familiar site, one that we had seen in countless movies. We immediately pulled out our cameras and frantically started taking pictures. We were finally in New York and what a better welcome for us then the Empire State Building. When we looked out the window we felt like New Yorkers, we were so happy to be in the city and so excited to experience all it had to offer.
Wanting to continue this feeling we decided that a perfect dinner would be a slice of pie. As we walked outside there was a nice warm breeze and as honking horns serenaded us we made our way to a busy street, and there it was a pizza window filled with a variety slices. Our mouths watered with our first bites of ricotta and broccoli and fresh baked calzones we were absolutely content.
We decided to take the long way back to the hotel trying to soak in as much of the night as possible and as we were walking we looked up and saw the Empire State Building. We were a bit confused, this building, all lit up and larger then life was in the opposite direction of the other Empire State Building. Regardless we did what any other tourist might do and pulled out our cameras and started snapping as many photos as possible. We had to ask. How could we not know the Empire State Building and if it wasn’t the Empire State Building then what was it?
We decided to stop at the nearest market for some water and being a tourist in a strange town I asked the man helping us which building was the Empire State Building and pointed in both directions. He looked at me, scratched his head and said, “I don’t know.” Nicole and I walked out laughing at ourselves and at the local who had no idea the difference of the two amazing buildings.
We didn’t find out until the next day as we were walking downtown and saw a building that touched the heavens and written with gold on the front of the building were the words Empire State. We again started pulling out our cameras to capture this landmark continuing to laugh at ourselves and at our confusion. Learning later that the building we thought to be the Empire State building was actually the Chrysler Building, a building just as beautiful if not a wee bit less famous.

hat

I am getting ready to leave for NY but I just needed to post my latest baby project.... and it is not beige!

cravings

okay for the first month of the pregnancy i wanted peanut butter and jelly sandwiches all of the time this craving stopped and then during my 3rd month all i wanted was cereal - all types and all kinds of cereal. Nothing to extreme no pickles and ice cream i've been pretty mellow on the whole cravings thing. so last night at 2:30 am we had to make a run to the border - we were at the taco bell drive through as they were getting ready to close. and i have to tell you that was the most delicious meal i have ever had at taco bell.

Well I had my 2nd doctors appt yesterday and the man is perfect for me - he is very mellow and set all of my food hysteria to ease. He also reassures me that all of the tests were not so bad although I am scheduled for an AFP blood test Aug 23 - which will tell me if the baby is at risk for down syndrome. And I heard the heartbeat and it is nice and strong although very faint as the baby is so small - actually the size of a jumbo shrimp. Why do they always refer to the size of the baby to food - it has been as small as an apple seed, then a sunflower seed, a small lime and now a jumbo shrimp.

football shoes

Okay I had to buy them - I don't know if I am having a girl or a boy but knowing Mike I will have a child that watches a lot of football. Nothing much new here tomorrow will be 13 weeks and so far so good - I have my 2nd dr's ppointment Monday so we will know more then.

12 weeks

I am 12 weeks today and joy oh joys our changes of miscarriage have dropped considerably well they had dropped when we heard the strong heartbeat but now.... all is well. My next appointment is in a week and a half and I am nervous because they will start the testing - testing for abnormalities for problems for defects... that is a bit nerve racking for the first 3 months you worry about everything you do and eat and now I am worry about the chance of a problem. Our bodies have a way of expelling things when there are serious problems so I probably would have miscarried had there been something really seriously wrong so all I could do is hope and pray. Who knew that pregnancy would bring so many worries with it. I just read that at 12 weeks most people should be wearing their normal clothes although they may be a bit tight ... well I have given up on my "normal" clothes - they are really tight and I have actually started buying 1st trimester clothes.. they come with nice little buttons that you can tighten or loosen as needed and yes the joys of elastic... who'da thunk I love elastic! Okay i am off to clean ... somehow the easiest thing not to do is clean.

10 weeks and 2 days

I am 10 weeks and 2 days I no longer am carrying an embryo but officially have a fetus in me - sounds a bit freakish. I am feeling fine the afternoon sickness seems to be vanishing the bbs are less sore and I am having problems buttoning my pants so I am assuming that all is going well inside of me. The thought of choosing and paying for daycare is a bit of an obsession right now. No I haven't started looking for places yet it is the rumors I hear $1300 a month! A month! I can barely scrape an extra $500 a month to put in savings.... how am I going to manage day care costs? Wait we - how are we going to manage day care costs - I guess that I have been so independent all theses years I forget about dear husband and his half/help of all things. I am still a bit worried there is sooooo much to do before this house is ready for a baby and the truth is this is not the house for a toddler so we will ultimately have to move as well... a whole new life for all of us.

Knitting for the baby (the fun begins)

About 2 years ago I started to knit a baby blanket for a friend but because of a terrible error on my part - making the unwise decision to double the yarn - the blanket ended up costing me about $80 so needless to say I kept it for me - and well I finally finished it. (pattern in stitch n'bitch)
And since I was in the baby spirit I also knitted a baby bolero...... (from Mason Dixon Knitting)

The first ultrasound

The most amazing thing happened - on Tuesday July 3 I saw my baby and heard the heartbeat for the first time. The baby is head down and actually wiggled it's head causing the nurse to call it a bit fiesty as it is so small, the size of a grape. The darker white line going through the middle is the arm. The heartbeat sounded like a choochoo train and was very fast and strong. I am absolutely in love already. To hear the heartbeat and see the ultrasound click here ultrasound

well nothing new yet

what am i doing up on a sunady morning at 6:21... this is actually late I've been up for hours, and hours.... I nap all day and am up all night... so I am 8 weeks and 2 days the little bean has arms and legs that are starting to bend.... this is all so amazing and crazy and exciting. I am still anxious about Tuesdays appointment I am hoping that we not only see it but that it is doing sommersaults - it is by the way the size of a raspberry with arms and legs.

7 Weeks and 4 days

Maybe I made a huge mistake finding out soooo early that we were pregnant (I wasn't even late and I started testing - 5 tests total but 3 pictured - I just wanted to make sure) because this wait time between finding out and my first appointment is killing me... I am waiting... and waiting.... happily my first appt is July 3 at 2pm and I am hoping and praying and wishing and worrying and wondering if everything is going to be okay. If having symptoms means anything positive at all then I am doing okay. The boobs have grown 2 inches in 3 weeks, I am always taking an afternoon nap, i am moody and cranky, and I have what must be morning sikness - a general yucky feeling throughout most of the day - which I hear is absolutely normal fo rthe first trimester. So I am looking at all of these symptoms as positives and am actually enjoying my daily naps since I have never been a napper before. My clothes are still fitting although I feel that i am looking more pregnant then I should at almost 8 weeks! So we'll see what happen next Tuesday this is going to be the longest week.... but with hopefully the greatest rewards.

back to normalcy

Now that the wedding is over my life should hopefully resume to normal. The wedding was FANTASTIC the honeymoon wasn't - our passports came too late and we weren't able to go to Puerto Vallarta as planned - and Ensenada didn't quite cut it - but alas we are married and are happily living the life of newlyweds. I am back at the gym and back to knitting - I have finished Nicole's birthday Fetching Gloves, a hat, and am frantically working on Hol's blanket for graduation. I've decided that knitters should give other knitters complicated knits as they will appreciate the hard work and love that goes into making them. Yes that may sound bitter but it s true - after you sit for hours and hours and hours making a "perfect" gift that is never worn in public well it gets a bit discouraging. You want to know that people appreciate what you have made, slaved over, finger cramps, etc...

5 Movies I want to see

1. Little Miss Sunshine
2. The Queen
3. Borat
4. Freedom Writers
5. Akeelah and the Bee

okay now for my all time five favorite
1. Sixteen Candles
2. Pride and Prejudice (w/Colin Firth)
3. Groundhog Day
4. Elf
5. .... I can't think of #5 but I know it's there......

Happy January 1

Continuing on with my Real Simple list...
5 places I'd like to visit (this is a wish list)
1. Spain
2. Greece
3. Lake Como
4. Nice (again)
5. Turkey

okay 5 places I might actually visit
1. Puerto Vallarta (honeymoon - woohoo!!)
2. New Mexico
3. New York (again)
4. Seattle (again)
5. Chicago (again)

Starting off the new year with the hopes of simplifying my life I have already loaded up a bag of clothes to donate and I am still sorting through my drawers - next will be the computer/junk room. Life is supposed to run smoother when you simplify - so I'll let you know.